Halloween Math

Standard

1 fun size Snickers = barely tasted it

1 fun size Snickers + 1 fun size M&M’s = now we’re getting somewhere

1 fun size Snickers + 1 fun size M&M’s + 1 fun size Kit Kat = I’ve already gone this far so I might as well keep going

1 fun size Snickers + 1 fun size M&M’s+ 1 fun size Kit Kat + another Snickers but with almond this time = almost a meal at this point so why stop

1 fun size Snickers + 1 fun size M&M’s + 1 fun size Kit Kat + another Snickers but with almond this time + oh snap, is that a full size Butterfinger in there? = massive stomachache

Who decided that these are “fun size” anyway? What kind of fun is that? No fun was had. When I think “fun” and “chocolate”, I want Max Brenner involved, not The Mars Corporation. I think the “Switch Witch” is coming this week to swap out the candy for new books. It’s not for Evan’s sake but for my own. I simply cannot handle the pressure of having that orange plastic jack-o-lantern bucket leering at me from the kitchen counter, overflowing with useless temptations. Get it out of here and let’s move on to pumpkin pie.

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